The most annoying TV commercials always seem to hit during daytime TV while I’m at the gym. My gym has two full rows of screens, all tuned to different channels, yet somehow they’re all running the exact same irritating ads. And in nearly every single one, people are dancing. Full-on, over-the-top dancing with pure, ridiculous HAPPINESS.From an online tax service to Ozempic injections — these products supposedly make people so ecstatic that they can’t help but break into spontaneous dance routines.
Really?
It doesn’t end there. We have compiled a list of commercials that feature happy dancing. And, I am sick of all of it.
Ozempic (multiple spots): Crowds of people gyrate and sing “Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic!” in celebratory dance sequences.
Grubhub: Animated characters (or people in some versions) dance with joy after ordering food delivery.
Toyota: One ad shows a disco dance party; another features a customer launching into a “maniacal” happy dance over a sale.
DoorDash – Customers (even when sick) bust out whimsical, dance-filled celebrations when their delivery arrives.
Pella Windows: A joyous dance ad set to Missy Elliott’s “The Rain,” celebrating home comforts with pure, uplifting movement.
Kohl’s (“Kohl’s Mom: Dance”): Features Ellie Kemper in a fun, lighthearted dancing spot. Makes you want to buy clothes, I suppose.
Target: Multiple spots with groups of people (including kids) dancing happily in stores or at home.
Jardiance (diabetes medication): Frequently features people dancing in many of its commercials.
Whole Foods: In-store imagery or ads with people dancing in front of stocked shelves.
Coca-Cola: Various ads, including ones with individuals like “Ammie” showing delightful dance moves tied to happiness.
Bud Light Seltzer (“Dance!”): Rooftop party scene where someone tries the drink and joins the dancing.
Fig Newton: Mascot or characters doing the “Fig Newton Dance.”
Six Flags (late 2000s): Elderly man steps off a bus and explodes into high-energy dancing to Vengaboys.
Cadbury Dairy Milk (“Dancing Eyebrows,” 2007): Playful, quirky dancing tied to joy.
M&M’s (2004 “Chocolate is Better in Color”): Dancing/singing candies and people.
Madison Avenue thinks you’re so fu@6ing brain-dead that the only way to sell you basic shit is by showing random idiots break into full-blown epileptic dance parties the second they touch a taco, a new pair of jeans, or a prescription pill. ‘Look at how overjoyed they are!’ they scream at you, as if your tiny smooth brain needs cartoon-level happiness to understand ‘product good.’ And don’t get me started on that Allied law firm clown. Bro is out here yelling and flailing like he’s having a stroke because apparently even basic legal services need a rabid mascot screaming at you like you’re too retarded to pay attention otherwise. They don’t make subtle ads anymore because they know subtlety is wasted on you. They genuinely believe the average viewer is a drooling moron who needs to be clubbed over the head with bright colors and spastic dancing just to remember a brand name.
